If you are here, reading this blog, then i would wager that to some degree you are unhappy with what you see in the mirror. Right?
You are wanting this blog to provide you with the Holy Grail of answers as to why you can't seem to get ahead of yourself with weight loss & training. Right?
You believe that you have done everything within your power to shed those pounds & that life is seemingly unfair because "it just doesn't happen for you". Right?
You find that you are comparing yourself to other people that have achieved what always seems to you to be out of reach & as a result are left de-motivated and reaching for the chocolate box. Right?
You are possibly even considering throwing the towel in all together because you feel like you are putting your heart and soul into something that doesn't seem to want to give you any kudos back. Right?
Here's the thing. I certainly will provide a few KEY points as to why you are probably wasting 80% of your time at the gym / home / class / PT's. But i won't be nice about it. Because if i don't tell you - nobody will! People will generally only ever tell you what they want you to hear. 9 times out of 10 the people closest to you - or those that are benefiting from you financially, will dress the situation up and put ribbons and bells on it - so that either you don't get your feelings hurt - or so that they may continue rinsing you.
BUT . . . i've always said that if something doesn't provide an emotional or physical challenge - If something doesn't make you feel out of your comfort zone or a little bit emotionally bruised then its no good for you - its easy and easy does not present the need for change - time to wake up and smell the roses.
YOU ARE TRAINING WITH THE WRONG TYPE OF GYM BUDDIES
This one may well be a bitter pill to swallow for a lot of people. You probably don't want to admit it . . . . but you know i'm right.
Yes, yes, so its all good you your gym buddies meet up every morning/evening in the gym car park, towel and water bottle in hand, joking about how attractive the instructor is who's class you are just about to go and do. You put the hard work in for an hour, finish & head out whilst chatting about how hard that session was and how you are still morbidly unhappy with yourself, even comparing calorie burns - then - BOOM . . . one of them says it. You probably already know where this is going. "Ahh enjoy yourself, you look fine and you have just worked really hard for an hour go home and have a bottle of wine tonight".
MASSIVE MASSIVE gym buddy FAIL. The fact is you have NOT earned it. You are STILL unhappy & have a long way to go. If this scenario rings true - STOP training with this/these people, you will never get ahead all the time you are around people who make it easy for you to give in to temptation. They are hindering you! Why? Because they are not you. They do not & will probably never understand just how shitty you feel about yourself, and so think the answer to happiness lies in the bottom of a gin bottle. STAY AWAY from these people when you are working out. A good gym buddy would tell you " Good session, but you still have a long way to go, the weight wont lose itself, stay on track & tomorrow we will do an even harder session".
YOU HAVEN'T GOT THE BALLS TO STAND UP TO PEER PRESSURE
What does your friendship circle consist of? Well grounded individuals who enjoy spending their weekends exploring the great outdoors - OR - a rowdy gang of nightclub loving cocktail enthusiasts? Did that offend you? Because if it did, then it hits home - & the truth sometimes hurts. What you spend your weekends doing will impact upon your success MASSIVELY. Oh such a party pooper i hear you say. Lighten up. Live a bit. NO. You want to lose weight and get in smaller sized clothes? You don't always want to be the overweight friend in the pack? Find your backbone and tell your friends - no i'm not going out drinking because i'm focusing on MY goals. For 12 weeks i'm going sober and upping my activity levels on a weekend. If someone is TRULY your friend. They will give you 110% unwavering support. They will go sober with you. So indeed you can still go out and dance into the early hours without having to be the only sober one in the group. If this is not the case, and they nag at you and say one won't hurt, or all the girls want you to come out - then perhaps you should re-evaluate just what the term friendship really means. All that effort throughout the week is thrown in the bin if you can't keep away from the BOOZE.
Bottom line - they should understand that a small sacrifice of time will eventually be making you happier & they SHOULD want that for you. If they put pressure on you otherwise, they're pricks that probably wouldn't miss you if you weren't in their sorority anymore as you would be easily replaced by someone else whom they could drown their problems away with. Choose your friends wisely! Do not be an unwitting ally to someone else's bad lifestyle habits or you will be dragged down under the guise of "having fun".
YOUR PT IS FLEECING YOU RIGHT UNDERNEATH YOUR NOSE
Go on, add it up. Add up how much you are spending in a 6 month period on Personal Training sessions. Now keep that number in your head and ask yourself if you could justify handing that lump sum of money over to someone who has calculated what type of person you are, how long they can string it out for, give you false flattery, slide into multiple people DM's WHILST stood coaching you, stand un-engaged with their hands in their pockets, ask you generic, robotic & repetitive questions about your life to make it look like they give a crap, AND worse still - encourage you to kick back and let it go at the weekend because you deserve it - i mean - its not like you'd fall straight back into their bank balance . . oooops i mean arms when you weigh in after a heavy weekend on the piss and realize the damage done from all that water retention and empty calories. Right? WRONG. Obviously you will go running back for help, handing over your dosh because you had no will power after they told you it was OK. Can you see the cycle here? Its all a cleverly constructed strategy - much like the one deployed by good old Slimming World. Sign up. Achieve. Relapse because the system is non maintainable. Cry. Sign back up. Repeat. A win win situation for them and not you. Lets be honest, its 2021 and everyone under the age of 28 is a PT. What do they mostly care about? Money and Instagram. So i'm sorry to burst your bubble which you have paid so handsomely to craft - but they don't crush on you like you crush on them. They probably sense this, and use it to reel you in even more while they go home and forget all about you. So whilst you keep handing over the money, just remember that you are likely just a number - and you should never be advised poorly in regards to nutrition. You have never earned it until you have reached your desired goal. Go in the gym or your garage of a field somewhere and be your OWN personal trainer. Unless, of course you can find the rarity of one who does genuinely care, then by all means train away!
YOU JUST AREN'T GETTING THE SUPPORT YOU NEED AT HOME
This one may well be the one that makes you click off this blog and hate me for quite some time, if this is the case then i will deduce that this one has cut deep. And. My job here is done.
So many times i have picked up on small inferences by customers that all is not well at the lodgings. And. That the gander is not supporting the goose as well as it should be or vice versa. This is where it gets a little bit difficult. I UNDERSTAND that people live hectic lives and the only crossover they have is at the dinner table and that this is where they get to have a catch up and have some family time. I get it. I really do. BUT. What i do not understand is why a partner cannot allow their other half to pursue a trail of happiness. It happens so many times. You see people making MASSIVE progress then all of a sudden the excuses start, or the implications of "having to be home to put dinner on the table" start. WHAT THE ACTUAL FU*K. We aren't living in a bygone era. People can cook for themselves. They can run their own bath. They can push start on the washing machine. Surely? Why is it your job to do these things? Come on man, get with it. Back it up. You need to have a good old sit down chat with goosey or gander if this is the case. The one person in the world that should coherently have your back and support your goals is your other half. FULL STOP. If they start nagging at you "i barely see you" "Your always training" "Your no fun anymore" - then YOU need to realize that these type of statements are born from their own insecurities and that is something they need to sort out for themselves rather then emotionally blackmailing you in order to keep the duvet wrapped firmly around their own demons. You may be a wife or a husband BUT THAT DOES NOT QUALIFY YOU AS A SLAVE. Tell them to give their head a bang. To get over it because you deserve to be a better version of you. If you aren't getting support at home, if you aren't being told that you look better, feel better, smile more, its going to shit up your progress. Full stop. Your spouse shouldn't be telling you that "They love you anyway", "You look fine", "You don't need to change", "You don't need to impress anybody else". They need to be the corner stone of your foundation. Tell them to stop being insecure - just because you are losing weight & gaining confidence, doesn't mean you are going to run away with Stan from spinning or Joyce from Bootcamp.
DO NOT give in to emotional manipulation that springs from a lack of confidence. Give them no option but to deal with it! Get out there & strive for your goals. If your partner cannot be happy for you. . . . Perhaps that says something about them.
YOU CANNOT EXECUTE SELF CONTROL WITH YOUR NUTRITION
This one is pretty much one of the biggest KEYS to success in changing your body composition & subsequently it is also where most people FAIL. You are on plan all week, smashing workouts, staying in a caloric deficit, following good, clean nutrition - then - BAM - its Friday again and Winnie the Pooh seems to somehow wrestle his way out of your psyche and make you devour every sweet thing in sight. No? Maybe its the Cookie Monster who slides out of the closet and takes control of your life on a lazy Sunday while your watching shit TV with a cuppa in one hand and enough biscuits to give you instant diabetes in the other. Still in denial? Okay then, perhaps you can blame the family dog for turning into Scooby Doo and making you stuff your face with a foot long meatball marinara subway for dinner, followed by a triple heart bypass inducing, greasy, double stacked, onion ring filled, quadruple cheese, mayo drenched mystery meat burger? I mean, everyone usually blames the family dog for their farts so. . . . . . . go ahead, you may as well, he cant defend himself. But YOU, you CAN defend yourself. So what is your defense here? It was shit weather? You had trained hard all week? Your bestie wanted a take away with you? Your other half wanted to treat you? Your hormones were flying around on a broomstick? The kids were driving you up the wall and you just thought that by some small chance, eating that piece of cheesecake would make them stop? It was a hard week at work? You argued with your sibling? You got let down, and thought you would punish yourself even more by reaching for the double deckers? NO - JUST NO! You have no defense here. You simply have zero will power. Food rules you. It over - rides all situations. You just aren't strong enough to say no & if this is the way it will stay - stop wasting your time now and accept that you are what you are. Cancel your membership. Stop paying for classes or PT'S. You aren't strong enough
You are putting the hard graft in ALL week - to then ruin it all in 2/3 days - it just doesn't make sense. Come on. Really. It makes no sense. You KNOW it too. You CANNOT out train a bad diet. End of. You won't get ahead of yourself & you will be left de-motivated, throwing a million excuses at yourself. Its madness. Sort it out. Stay on track. Meal prep if you need to. Do anything you can to have a back up plan in the event of a possible failure. Family picnic? Meal prep - they can't moan, you're still there - eating different food makes no difference. Leave no excuses. Can you truly say you did EVERYTHING? Went that extra mile in your diet to stay on track? No? Didn't think so. So quit whining and use some self control. Maybe then you will get the breakthrough you want.
Nobody ever wants to admit that they couldn't put 110% into something that was supposed to mean something to them. It makes you kind of look like a fool. It outwardly appears that in reality you are just a shoddy work man that it blaming their tools. Its a bigger person that can stand back and say, actually, you know what, i CAN do better, i'm going to clean up my act, stop finding excuses, i CAN implement changes to succeed, and i WILL.
So, i implore you. Before you quit. Before you say it doesn't work. JUST, analyse what is going on around you. DARE to be honest with yourself.
In the words of motivational speaker Jim Rohn: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with". The people you spend the most time with shape who you are. And that right there is nothing but the TRUTH.
If this blog post touches heart with anyone that reads it, make sure to give it like for me.
As always "Love & Light" good people.
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